This pearl was offered to me years ago by Rhonda Victoor. Rhonda is a self-titled ‘Enlightened Productivity’ expert. Her advice is aimed at entrepreneurs but I knew this gem could be applied to anyone. Or well, at least me.
It certainly isn’t a ‘cure’ for depression or even a management tool when you’re in a full-on one. It’s when I haven’t reached inertia, but I’m headed that way. It can keep me buoyant when I might be sliding down that slippery slope when things seems slightly grey, energy feels like it’s leaking out from behind my knees and the sound of my thoughts are muffled.
Rhonda’s suggestion was to not do what makes you feel happy, but do what makes you feel proud. And honestly when I’m in that darkening state, ‘happy’ I can’t fathom. Proud though, for some reason, is something I can.
This isn’t about doing what makes me feel ‘good’ because ‘good’ can make my depression worse. Taking a 2 hour nap, though initially feels perfect, doesn’t help. However, taking a shower feels like a victory. What makes me feel proud changes from day to day depending on my wellness.
A few things that make me feel proud: going to bed at my regular time so I get 8 hours sleep, instead of zoning out, watching TV until midnight; drinking water throughout the day; keeping a promise to a friend to call.
Three tips to help you find what makes you feel proud:
1) Small is ok. What makes you feel proud doesn’t need to be loud or large.
2) Don’t do it for someone else. Choose something that is meaningful to YOU; that makes YOU feel proud. That’s why big or small doesn’t matter. What does matter is that it matters to you.
3) Experiment. Doing what makes us feel proud requires more reflection than doing what makes us feel good. It is about cultivating self-respect and self-acceptance. This takes practice and may take several attempts to hit that sweet spot of feeling proud. But when you do, you’ll know it because its flavour is one of deep satisfaction and contentment rather than fleeting pleasure.
© 2014 Victoria Maxwell
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Do What Makes You Feel Proud
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